How to Work With Someone You Don't Like

You do not have to like someone to work well with them.

Very freeing.

Also annoying, because it means you cannot use “I don’t like them” as a full business strategy.

Some people are not your people.

Fine.

You still may need to ship the project, answer the email, run the meeting, or share the client.

So stop trying to manufacture friendship.

Build a working system.

First, check what problem you actually have

The move: Separate dislike from dysfunction.

Dislike is:

they irritate you
their style clashes with yours
they talk too much
they move too fast
they move too slowly
they care about different details

Dysfunction is:

they undermine you
they lie
they take credit
they create fear
they ignore agreements
they make the work impossible

Different problem.

Different response.

This post is about dislike.

If the person is creating real harm, document it, escalate it, set stronger boundaries, or leave the situation if you can.

Do not spiritually reframe mistreatment into “growth.”

That is how people get stuck.

Name the specific friction

The move: Replace “I can’t stand them” with a usable sentence.

Try:

The friction is ______.

Examples:

The friction is unclear deadlines.
The friction is their tone in feedback.
The friction is meetings with no decisions.
The friction is late handoffs.
The friction is that they brainstorm when I need closure.

Now you have something you can work with.

“I don’t like them” gives you nowhere to go.

“They send vague handoffs” gives you a system to fix.

Be specific.

Your irritation may be real.

It is just not always useful until you translate it.

Stop chasing chemistry

The move: Aim for professional reliability, not emotional closeness.

You do not need:

lunch chemistry
shared humor
matching values on every topic
a friendship arc
warm fuzzy collaboration magic

You need:

clear expectations
reliable handoffs
respectful communication
documented decisions
a way to resolve disagreement

That is enough.

Work relationships are allowed to be functional and nothing more.

The internet has made “good vibes” sound like a management strategy.

It is not.

Add structure where the friction lives

The move: Design around the clash.

If they are vague, use written agendas.

If they miss deadlines, create earlier check-ins.

If they decide things in chat, summarize decisions after.

If they interrupt, set turn-taking rules in meetings.

If they change scope casually, confirm the change in writing.

Structure is not punishment.

It is a railing.

Adults still need railings.

Use:

To keep this clean, can we agree on [specific process]?

Examples:

To keep this clean, can we confirm decisions in the project doc after each meeting?

To avoid surprises, can we do a 10-minute check-in every Wednesday until launch?

Calm.

Practical.

Harder to argue with.

Find one thing you respect

The move: Give your brain a counterweight.

You do not need to admire the whole person.

Find one real thing:

they follow through
they catch details
they defend the user
they ask good questions
they stay calm under pressure
they care about the outcome

This is not forced positivity.

It is accuracy.

When you dislike someone, your brain starts collecting evidence like a biased detective.

Give it one piece of counter-evidence.

Not to make you like them.

To keep you fair.

Keep feedback about the work

The move: Do not make every issue a personality trial.

Bad:

You are always chaotic.

Better:

When the brief changes after design starts, we lose time. I need final requirements before Thursday.

Bad:

You never listen.

Better:

I raised this risk twice, and it did not make it into the plan. How should I flag blockers so they get captured?

The work version is harder to dismiss.

It is also less dramatic.

Good.

Drama is expensive.

If their feedback is the part that keeps setting you off, how to deal with feedback that stings is the next layer.

Know when it is not salvageable

The move: Judge the working relationship by outcomes, not vibes.

Ask:

Can we make decisions?
Can we repair misunderstandings?
Can we deliver good work?
Can we respect basic agreements?
Can I do this without becoming worse at my job?

If yes, keep it professional and continue.

If no, stop pretending the problem is just chemistry.

That is a work problem.

Escalate, change the process, reduce contact, or leave the project when possible.

Your working-with-them plan

Do this:

Decide whether it is dislike or dysfunction.
Name the specific friction.
Stop chasing friendship.
Add structure around the friction.
Find one thing you genuinely respect.
Keep feedback about behavior and work.
Escalate if the work cannot function.

You do not need to like everyone.

You do need to be able to work like an adult around people who are not your favorite.

That skill pays forever.

If disagreement is the real trigger, how to learn from people you disagree with will help. If the friction is hidden expectations, how to negotiate without being a jerk gives you the language to make the trade clearer.